However, I was willing to try the dating app again.I was dying to see who was using it in the small southern town I live in now. But then I got some messages from guys I would actually consider dating.He wasn’t my usual “type” at all, which tends to be more artsy and progressive, but he made me laugh so much.We could have kept talking for hours if he hadn’t had to go pick up his son. About five minutes into our second date I could tell he wanted to kiss me, and I wanted to kiss him back.I never had to make the first move, so this was new, but I didn’t mind.Jim ended up being kind of boring in person — perfectly polite, a gentleman, but, I just didn’t feel any chemistry. Despite some big differences between us, like our politics for one thing, and his dirty sense of humor, I instantly liked him.He would have to just deal with that if it happened and not say anything.Finally, he would have to be gentle with my breasts, end of story. Not exactly pillow talk, but to my surprise this sweet, southern man — a man with a concealed carry gun license and a tackle box on the backseat — was completely fine with all of it. Turns out, his mom had breastfed him and all six of his siblings. It’s the healthiest.” It was my turn to be shocked. Without getting into any juicy details, I’ll just say that I definitely enjoyed myself.
When I lived in New York City, I tried Tinder briefly but didn’t feel it was the right fit for me.Since becoming a mom, I’ve shed a lot of insecurity, and my new outlook is serving me well in my dating life.Before I got pregnant, I would have thought that becoming a mom would have made things much more difficult; but because I am braver, the intimidating parts — even really sensitive subjects — don’t seem so harrowing.I mean, I gave birth, what’s the big deal about asking a guy out or using Tinder or being upfront about my physical boundaries? It’s definitely easier now to just dive in, and because the stakes of a long-term relationship are higher, I’m less likely to stick around too long for a guy who isn’t right for me. If nothing else, it would just be funny to see if there was anyone I knew. One guy, I’ll call him “Jim,” was attractive, a few years older than me, and had never been married before.I ended up swiping right on a handful of guys (signaling to them that I was interested), and most of them were matches. He had a good job, was kind of a foodie, and really into sports. The next guy, “Mike,” was pretty cute, a single dad, divorced, and also a few years older than me.I also wanted to weed out the men who wouldn’t be cool with those things, and I wanted to demonstrate that I have a sense of humor.Lots of my friends are divorced single parents, but not many have been single from the beginning, like me. I’m also really happy just being a mom, so naturally I’ve been hesitant to start dating again. Once she was born, I felt like I had found my total joy and purpose in life. What business did I have dating while my daughter was still so young? If you consider that I’ve been single since two days before I found out I was pregnant (when her dad and I broke up), however, I’ve been single for well over a year.Lots of chemistry doesn’t always make for a long-term thing.Neither one of us left with any hard feelings, but I feel a lot more confident to continue dating now.