Don’t race ahead with conclusions about your apparent failure that don’t have any validity.When it doesn’t happen, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen somewhere else, it only means that it isn’t happening here. Your first thoughts when things don’t work are: “I’ll never find anyone, I’ll be alone the rest of my life. There’s something wrong with me.” This is how you are feeling in the moment, but don’t confuse that with the facts. Edit out the extremes, and replace with words that help you see the temporary nature of these perceptions: I’m having a thought right now that I won’t find anyone.We try on too many outfits to count, constantly analyzing ourselves in the mirror over and over again. If you are going on a first date, you’d probably brush your teeth about 10 times.But here’s a trick that helps you along in this process: the next time you try to decide what to wear on a first date, take a picture of yourself in the outfit you’re considering. Of course, once you’re on your date, you’ll constantly find yourself wondering if your breath smells.It’s the fact this person you’re going on a date with might be your next significant other that gives you these anxiety-inducing feelings!Things we feel nervous about on a first date Are your nerves on edge right before you head to that date? [Read: 14 signs you’re ruining your first dates unknowingly] #1 Deciding on what to wear.e H: What if things don’t work out, then how does one handle that? Chansky: Remember that you can’t control the outcome of a date.
Proceed with the same caution about interpreting the outcome as you did about entering the situation at all.
Chansky lives with her husband and daughters in Philadelphia where she has helped thousands of patients overcome anxiety.
Just because you might be experiencing the panic of first date jitters, does not mean that it is a bad thing.
If you have rejection ringing in your ears before you step into the restaurant, how are you going to hear what’s going on?
Your date will not be grading you with a red pen and a clipboard (and if they are, signal the waiter for the check!